Being Gay … For me – Sexuality



13.07.16 Orlando Memorial Palau De La Generalitat, Barcelona, Spain

Queer as Folk…

  • An annoying and intrusive amount of ridiculous questions like some sort of Sexual orientation Q&A
  • The constant obsession with sex and everything about it without even a consideration towards feelings at all  , usually with a total stranger
  • The phrase “you haven’t  had the right man ” I assure you is as tired as old leather and it’s still dragged out of the closet daily by the working class males to use whenever they run out of anything interesting to say .
  • A love hate relationship with gay culture and gay venues ( some of the best/worst nights out of your life will evidently occur )
  • A constant social anxiety about being stereotypically believed as being gay due to how it will affect how people will treat you
  • When you pull hot chicks , everyone wonders why … like being ugly was reserved for lesbians.

Sorry dude but if that’s true then i think being hot was reserved for gay guys too so …

  • A notion that people instantly assume that by being gay , you should hook up or make best friends with someones friend or cousin because they are also … gay
  • Men assuming you fancy their girlfriend because you’re in the same room as each other
  • Straight people assuming you find them even sexually attractive under a backwards assumption that apparently if your gay you fancy everyone .
  • Turning people is like a thing we do on purpose , in the statements defence though lesbians are renowned for it , gay men get it the tap of a button (Grindr)

Sick and tired of having to justify we are just normal members of society ,

  • We want equality, not priority
  • We want human rights , not extra privilege

If you have ever had someone you have never met stand face to face with you and scream hate about who you are for who heart chooses for you then you will understand why I am writing this . That is one of the more light-hearted anecdotes experienced on a daily basis in many countries resolving in the death penalty for suspicion or even speaking of feelings for another person of the same sex .

I am so fortunate to sit in my own skin and feel comfortable but for me even 99% isn’t enough .

To Most adult men – I really can’t stress to you how your comments , pre judgement and lack of understanding really does make us feel and almost accept this behaviour as just another day another remark . Mainly people do not mean to , even think about it or try to offend anyone never mind anyone homosexual but after so many times I could never remember them all , most of you after a few beers think you can “cure” it .

I had 10 minutes of solid abuse from five roughly fifteen year olds about my hair , how i looked like a boy and how too many remarks referring to me as being a “dyke” and a i never said a word , i just tried to turn my earphones up as loud as i could and pray the tram was coming soon.

Why didn’t i not respond ?

We fight our war without voilence but with silence and kindness as much as we can tolerate most of the time because we believe that you deep down don’t want to hate you just are who you are and your misguided with and unnecessary hate for something you don’t understand  , while we scream inside as you make us feel like our skin crawls with your pre judgment and your invasive behaviour.

You feel as though you know everything about us without knowing anything at all

You generalise the notion that because of our sexuality you assume our personality

My sexuality does not defy my personality

My judgments towards you are based on how you present yourself, what makes you happy and how you treat others around you .

Being someone who cannot hide their sexuality i often finding myself being in situations with strangers who judge me based on who i am genetically drawn to which i have no control over nor do i deny, i fear for the ones who do deny, the ones who live in silence , the ones who cannot truly open themselves up to who they really are may suffer long in the term .

Learning to love yourself is key . If you choose to block out your feelings be it sexual or emotional or both your missing your one opportunity at life to do it your way .

I don’t believe in arguing the points that others have or even entertain a debate on the subject of homophobia . It’s totally unnecessary for it to occur . That is the only thing i have to say is generally we are taught not to judge based on colour or creed because its ludicrous and discriminative , and we all know that your sexuality has nothing to do with who you are as a person so why not treat everyone equally and maybe we might receive it in return .

In turn good friendships can be based on respect, embracing others and their lifestyles and accepting them for who they are .

These days we all have something that makes us who we are that makes us feel pigeon holed , diagnosed and most definitely treat differently for .

Am I the only one that would just like to be judged based on the person that i am rather than the application form tick boxes i associate with or the judgment of someone who has never even taken the time to realise the “witch hunt” that is homophobia ?